Marqyse Evans
Ms. McKoy
English II
15 November 2013
There was once a man named Bruce. Bruce lived his life
past the fullest of fulfilling his wife’s needs. He displayed the affection an
impregnated mother displayed to her unborn child. He furnished all he could so
that his wife could have the many benefits she wanted. Little did he know, his
beloved wife was becoming a deceitful woman. Every third Wednesday of the
month,while her husband slept, she would creep to her new Honda Accord and
encounter another man’s presence. One tranquil Wednesday, while the wife chose
to indulge in her promiscuous activities, her awoken husband retrieved her left
phone. His heart shattered. He stayed awake until she returned and explained
what he found. The lyrics that came from her foul mouth made him gather his
things and leave. For the following months: he cried, he screamed, and he quit.
Bruce came across the silent killer named depression. He would then become a
heavy drinker, a drug addict, and a neglectful father. What was wrong with him?
Why did his life implode when his wife left him? It was love. He had become so
addicted to the artificial feelings coming from his wife’s heart that he wasn’t
prepared for what happened next. Like Bruce, many people go through the same
“addiction” to love and with this addiction come physical ailments, one sided
relationships, and psychological breakdowns.
Addiction to love can cause Physical ailments. Devine Caroline states in their article “
Head over Heels: The Physical Effects of Falling In Love,” that “So, with these
‘love’ chemicals firing away, physical changes start happening, like — you
guessed it — sweaty palms, feelings of euphoria, and light-headedness.” In
other words, Devine Caroline is proposing that love can result in different
types of disorders in the body. This ties into addiction to love for the reason
that, when you’re addicted to drugs you experience these same symptoms. Also,
an author in Today news elaborates on love in “Truly, Madly, Deeply: How Love
Makes You Sick,” about how “When people feel chest pressure, it’s probably
panic.” Traupman is advising that when obsessed to love or in love the stress
you feel on or around your chest is possibly panic caused from being away from
the loved object. This is an effect of love addiction because addiction to love
can cause the body to malfunction in numerous ways.
One sided relationships are also an outcome of Love
addiction. Devine Caroline explains that “the success of a relationship is
based on a physical response that we have no control over.” They are stating
that if one participant in the relationship operates one way in a relationship,
and another act a different way, a relationship won’t work. These actions are
usually actions we can’t power or have control over. This relates to Addiction
to love because when looking at the definition of addiction it articulates “a
strong and harmful need to regularly have something,” but it doesn’t utter that
what you are craving, craves you back. To go off what Devine Caroline stated,
Steve Sussman states in “Love Addiction: Definition, Etiology, and Treatment,”
that “A key element of love addiction is the belief that, somehow, romantic
relations are magically potent; that they are relationships that can surmount
all emotional obstacles.” What Steve is saying is that a main part in love
addiction is the consideration that you have an unbreakable relationship and
that it can surpass any hindrance. This is a high side effect of love addiction
because that concurrent thought attaches to the previous point of the other
spouse not returning the feelings that one spouse may present. Also with this
thought, you must realize that your relationship cannot conquer every obstacle
thrown its way.
Along with the
other two, addiction to love can also cause Psychological breakdowns. Jane Traupman lets us know “relationships go
through stages: sometimes a mate can feel hostile or resentment to the other
spouse or to how they may be treated...can feel depressed.” What Traupman is
explaining to us here is that when in love you will go through a certain mental
and emotional stage where you will feel a type of resentment towards your
partner, when feeling slightly neglected. This slight disregard for your
emotions can cause you to retreat into a depression like state, or even full on
depression. This happens when addicted to love because of a side effect in your
body called Limerence. “Limerence is the obsessive, intrusive, and
all-consuming state we’re in where we justify letting work, friends,
responsibilities — even ourselves — slide so we can satisfy our unquenchable
thirst for our new partner,” (Today News).
Limerence is sort of like a brain dysfunction. It will allow you to live
life regularly, but will interfere with any basic task you want to do that
doesn’t involve the object you love. Today news also tells us that, “You may
think very clearly, but you can’t think about anything but him or her. It’s the
dopamine that gives you that obsessive focus. Romantic love is an obsession.
You can’t stop thinking about the person. But you’re thinking of every detail
of them: what he said, how she moved, and what he meant by that. You’re focused
— just not on work or your to-do list.” They are telling us that love is an
addiction. They are saying that the dopamine in your body is giving you
compulsive thoughts about your spouse. This happens when addicted because the
dopamine in your body affects your train of thought and only wants you to focus
on said thing you “love”.
Now think about Bruce. Think about how bad his life was
traumatized as soon as the thing he loved destroyed him. Think about the
complete changes he has to make with his life now that his beloved wife’s dark
story has been revealed to him. Now look at you. How many relationships have
you gone through? How many times have you been heartbroken? What is your
current relationship like? Does it cause you physical ailments, psychological
breakdowns, or one sided relationships? If so, you are addicted. So I leave you
with this… is it worth it?
